The Anxiously Attached Child
Often feels drained due to the caregivers’ neediness
Tends to worry about their caregiver and cling to them, they can also feel guilty, feeling as though they need to take care of them
Anxious while away from their caregiver and hard to console once they’ve returned
Exploring less than children their own age
Appearing generally anxious
Not interacting with strangers
Having problems regulating and controlling negative emotions
Displaying aggressive behavior and poor peer interactions
Risk factors: early separation from a caregiver, abuse, instances of neglect, caregivers who ridiculed them when the child was in distress
Parents of Children with an Anxious Attachment Style:
Typically experienced this attachment style from their own caregivers while growing up
Inconsistent parenting: sometimes the caregiver is supportive and responsive and others they are misattuned
Interactions are unpredictable
Seek emotional/physical closeness with their child as a means of satisfying their own needs (i.e. intrusive, overprotective, appearance of being the perfect parent)
Anxious Attachment in Adulthood
Think highly of others but have low self-esteem
Strong fear of rejection or abandonment - can cause jealousy or suspicious of partners
Clinginess in relationships - preoccupied with relationships
Sensitive and have strong sense of others’ needs but are often insecure and anxious about their own worth in relationships
Need constant reassurance that they are loved and cared about, they are worthy, and good enough
Afraid of or incapable of being alone
Seek intimacy and closeness and are highly dependent on others
Presence of loved one is remedy to their fears and insecurities
How to Develop a More Secure Attachment Style
Keep developing the things you are already good at and zone out
Take some measured risks - get out of your comfort zone
Get physically strong - it also translate to being mentally strong
Seek a relationship with a securely attached individual - can facilitate closeness and emotional security - gives a sense of calm
Therapy - 1) can help you make sense of how you interact with your loved ones at present 2) understanding how things from your childhood affect current relationships
How to Parent a Child with Anxious Attachment
Show your child that you are reliable in meeting their needs
Balance freedom with guidance
Focus less on certain types of parenting practices (i.e. natural childbirth co-sleeping, breastfeeding) and focus more on consistency
Seek professional help - many children who have come from abusive backgrounds and now live in a secure environment will need counseling to help adjust. Family counseling is best for both child and caregiver
I'd love to hear your comments below and as always if you liked this video, hit the like button, and subscribe to this channel to receive more videos like this.
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Blue Sage Counseling and Wellness, and the information provided by Ashley Francis, is solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Ashley Francis is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
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