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Why You Should Own Your Own Sh!t | 6 Steps to be Honest with Yourself

Why It’s Important to Own Your Own Sh!t

If you are one of the fortunate ones who possesses the bravery to embark on a journey of self-discovery you will experience a time (let’s be honest...a few times) when you’re confronted with some harsh truths about yourself that will cause you to hurt so badly you’d actually choose physical torture in its place.

And yet, for some reason, you can’t get enough of it and you go back for more.

Sounds like cruel and unusual punishment, right? Why would anyone engage in such a process that is so painful? Doesn’t that seem counterintuitive?

The truth is that all growth is painful. Some experiences of growth are more painful than others and some less so. But we keep coming back for more because of the long-term pay off also known as behavior change and breaking unhelpful patterns.

I’m convinced that the people who say that “people don’t change” are the very ones who have never experienced radical behavior change themselves. I believe that these individuals have either never desired to do the deep digging or they simply haven’t known how. Either way, this person tends to remain very stuck - repeating the same mistakes without any improvement, and they also tend to blame the world for their problems and be generally discontent.

If you keep swimming in the shallow end you never get to experience the multidimensional depths of consciousness and humanity that we’re all designed to experience.

How boring!

Enter the brave consciousness explorer who gets off the elevator at each floor just to look around in the minute hope that he/she will find the tiniest piece of the puzzle that gets them closer to understanding the meaning of life.

The one who asks and ponders the big questions.

The one who isn’t afraid to “go there” and ask the difficult questions.

The one who knows that the answers are going to hurt but they ask anyway.

The one who has the wisdom to understand that immediate gratification is just a distraction from real truth.

The one who has the patience to allow the evolution of the self to unfold in its own time and not through control.

The one who knows that connection is the elixir to cure all of the world’s problems

If you’re reading this and you’re thinking “what the hell is she talking about?”... Good!

If you’re reading this and thinking “finally, someone who gets me!”...Good!

If you’re reading this and thinking anything at all...GOOD!

Let us now discuss one of the ways you can go exploring in the deep end to gain a more solid sense of self, enhance your relationships, and create more joy in your life.

What does it mean to own your own sh!%?

Straightforwardly, this means to get honest with yourself...I mean REALLY honest...and admit that it is something that is true for you.

These are the types of things that you typically wouldn’t tell ANYBODY (except maybe your therapist or a spiritual leader) but you secretly can’t deny them to yourself. You can’t run from it because it constantly keeps showing up in your life disguised in various ways and likely during very inconvenient times.

Sometimes admitting these things to yourself happens right away and sometimes it takes weeks, months, or even years to come to terms with.

These are also the types of things that show up that are holding you back in life - your fears, your hesitations, your ways to self-sabotage, your addictions, the ways you numb out, your regrets, the stuff you were hoping to take to your grave. Yeah...that stuff.

Sounds awful, right?

But what’s worse? Continuing to let those things accumulate until it becomes an undeniable, malignant mass that’s slowly killing you or would you rather rip that sucker outta there once and for all?

The trickiest part is that sometimes there can be conflicting parts of ourselves that can disrupt this process.

For example, one part of your brain may actually be convinced that you’re ready to “confront your demons” but as soon as you get confronted with a thought or feeling you didn’t expect, it sends you right back in your comfort zone.

Please know that this is normal. Not only is it normal, it’s expected! It’s supposed to hurt. You buried that sh!% for a reason...cuz it hurts! But it’s also not doing you any favors while hiding in the dark.

Here are 6 steps to get honest with yourself and own your own sh!%:

  1. Identify the low hanging fruit - the stuff you already know about yourself

  2. Meditate and.or engage in some intrapsychic exercise to access the unconscious - this is where 90% of your sh!% lives

  3. Develop a routine and make it a ritual that keeps what you’ve discovered at the forefront so you can keep working on it

  4. Get a trusted accountability buddy who is going to hold you accountable when, not if, you’re feeling unmotivated

  5. Take care of your mind and body - exercise, eat well, nurture social relationships, make amends, clean up your karma

  6. Seek professional assistance


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Blue Sage Counseling and Wellness, and the information provided by Ashley Francis, is solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Ashley Francis is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

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